same as it ever was...2007

In 2007, I...

January...Looked back over 2006. Decided it wasn't half bad. Decided my anti-resolution would be to go after the things I really wanted, instead of waiting for them to arrive in my life.
February...Celebrated my 28th birthday at Trader Vic's, the fabulous tiki bar, with a Scorpion Bowl and some crappy burlesque dancers. Rode home with Stu with my head out the window and tried to sleep on my front porch. Met Katie and started working with VDay Atlanta and preparations for the Vagina Monologues. Found out my friendship with Katie was quite serendipitous. I have no idea if serendipitous is a word.
March...Ran my second half marathon - the inaugural ING Atlanta race. Cursed the lack of powerade on the course. Continued to work on the VDay show and met amazing, amazing people.
April...Took a super fun drive to Nashville with Stephen to run my third half marathon - the Country Music race - with 30,000 other runners. Ran the best race I've had so far. Met Eve Ensler, Jane Fonda, Sara Blakely, Pearl Cleague at the Vagina Monologues. Began an unfortunate preoccupation with a musician.
May...Got the go ahead to organize a reading of A Memory, a Monologue, a Rant and a Prayer. Figured it would be a small reading at a coffee shop or a bookstore or something. Went to my 10 year high school reunion. Also attended the very sad ceremony for the destruction of Wilson Chapel and said goodbye to my college theater.
June...Swore of musicians. Listened to a lot of depressing music. Decided to get over it already.
July...Met Baton Bob. Worked like crazy on the show. Experience my very sad departure from my old firm.
August...Continued to work like crazy on the show. Started a new job at a new firm. Didn't quite realize how much I would hate it. Got an article in the Peach Buzz and felt famous for a day. Went to Corndogorama and watched the greatest corn dog eating competition ever. Realized I really like watching competetive eating, which I still don't quite understand.
September...Attended a pirate party and almost bought a limosuine with Jeff and Khari. Had the greatest experience of my life so far with the show. Had my fifteen minutes. Went to the bathroom and had girl talk with Emily Saliers, who told me I could produce any event anywhere if I wanted to. Tried to figure out what that meant for my life. Lamented the loss of my flooded trusty of 94 Honda Accord and laid her to rest.
October...Drove to New Orleans to get my passport because I procrastinated. Went to Mexico for Eric's wedding with Jennifer, had the best time ever. Rode in a Mexican taxi, drank the most wonderful mojitos I've ever tasted. Skinny dipped in the ocean under a sky full of shooting stars. Started really, really trying to find a new job. Said goodbye to Khari. Began to really, really hate my job every day. Dressed up as Carmen Miranda for Halloween. Made the most ridiculous fruit hat and couldn't wear it because it was so heavy. Sort of hated couples and their couple-ey stuff. Got my new tatoo, which hurt way more than the first one. Picked out pumpkins in Dahlonega with Laura and Diana. Almost got kicked out of the pumpkin patch for playing in the corn field without paying.
November...Started wearing leggings. Stopped hating couples so much. Made my third orphan Thanksgiving dinner. Cooked for two days straight. Met cute Tony.
December...Started painting again. Realized I must be getting old because 2007 went by so fast, as did the month of December. Couldn't believe it was Christmas again.

And 2008 remains to be seen...

same as it ever was - i love new york

Enough said....

Left: Janice from the Muppets

Right: Tiffany "New York" Pollard

juno, not like the city in alaska

My mom, my brother, and I went to go see Juno yesterday after several days of intense family together time. Despite the fact that I hate my job, I'm sort of relieved to be off the hook as far as hanging out with them all day today. I will be sad to see my brother go back to school, but saying goodbye to him also means saying goodbye to the requisite extended stays at my parents house.

One of the things that my family does very well is watching movies, lots and lots of movies. And cook. And eat. It's the genetic obligation of Italians. Christmas Eve is always the candlelight service at church, then the traditional meal of Italian sausage and fried potatoes, which we eat while indulging in the annual screening of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. My mother always forgets how we cut the potatoes, diced or sliced, and excessively reminds me not to burn the sausage. This year, my dad, after professing that he wasn't sure if he would ever darken the door of a church again, actually attended the candlelight service, which certainly increased the peace in my nuclear family.

Christmas day this year was a big different than normal. My brother and I stayed at my house after the movie and watched Bad Santa. We slept late, and after years of my brother and I waking up at the crack of dawn as children to open presents, gifts did not begin to be opened until ten a.m. And I was actually the one that desperately needed coffee, even more than my dad. The gifts were lovely, my mom succeeded in finding new Pez dispensors for John and I, and I actually had gifts under the tree that I hadn't picked out myself. After gifts, the rest of the day was cooking, lots of cooking. French toast for brunch, while the sauce gets going. Meatballs cooking while the french toast is consumed. Lasagna assembly. My mother acting as if I've never assembled a lasagna before in my life. Delicious smells. Setting the table. Finally, champagne. Dinner. Wine. Conversation. Cookies. Coffee. Sleep.

And we found ourselves at the movies to watch Juno on the day after Christmas, after my John and I spent the morning watching a marathon of Rock of Love. It was such a great movie. Ellen Page plays Juno, a very sarcastic, very rock and roll sixteen year old after my own heart, who just happens to get pregnant her first time out to bat with her geeky yet adorable love, Bleeker. She decides to have the baby and give it up for adoption, and the movie shows her journey through the pregnancy and navagating through relationships with her parents, Bleeker, her best friend, the adoptive parents, and the bitchy ultrasound technician. It was very funny and very touching, despite the subject matter, the movie didn't take itself too seriously while still showing real human joys and disappointments.

What was most interesting to me was that at this point in my life, I could distinctly relate to Juno as she muddles through her teenage angst and this unexpected dilemma. I could also strongly relate to Vanessa, the potential adopted mother, who so desperately wants a child and must rely on the whims of a sixteen year old girl, who can't possibly understand the complications of giving up a child, to provide her with the baby she knows she was meant to care for. I realize I am somewhere in between these two women in life. My ovaries are kicking into high gear, I swear I can feel my uterus contract when I see a baby, it's not crazy weird any more when one of my friends gets pregnant. I found myself at dinner the other night with a newly pregnant woman, and immedietly offered my babysitting services to the unborn child. I have to admit that biologically, I've got some kind of baby fever. But I'm still Juno. Afraid. Terrified of being alone. Ill-prepared.

My mother wouldn't stop looking over at me during the movie, clearly checking to see if I was tearing up. I know she's ready for grandchildren, and I sometimes wish that I were in the same position as some of my friends who have found it in them to "settle down". But I cannot escape the feeling that I just want to take my time. I know that eventually I might have to freeze an egg, but I'm OK with that. Thank goodness for the miracles of modern science. Right now I'll just sit, and wait for, as Juno puts it, "the cheese to my macaroni."

making me happy

1. A visit from my brother John. Waking up late. Spending the morning watching a marathon of Rock of Love with him.
2. My kick ass new easel from Tony.
3. The adorable and very funny middle schoolers in my Sunday school class.
4. Seeing Juno.
5. Lasagna for Christmas.
6. New perfume.
7. My paintings of Elvis and ?uestlove.
8. All the new music John added to my Itunes.
9. The everybodyfields and spending time with friends on Saturday night.
10. Spending time with Tony tonight.

same as it ever was...jaime lynn spears

Decision: "same as it ever was" posts will be observations on current events. Um, that will probably mean celebrity gossip. Please do not expect musings on global affairs. You will be sorely disappointed.

OK, so Jaime Lynn Spears is knocked up, right? The good sister gone bad. We're all not THAT surprised, though. Where were you when you heard news? Is it a moment you will remember forever? I turned on the Today show yesterday morning when I woke up, like I do every day (the Matt Lauer fix helps me face the day) and they were discussing the demographic of Jaime Lynn's Nickelodeon show, Zoey 101, 911, or whatever it's called. Apparently, kids watching this show are around 8 years old? How do you tell your 8 year old that Zoey's got a bun in the oven? Now you have to have the sex talk because another Spears is dismantling her career?

Here's the other thing...Lynn and Jaime Lynn sold the story to OK! magazine for a million dollars, I hear? They get the money after the magazine gets photos of the baby after it's born. Of course, Jaime Lynn has said that she wants to go back to Louisiana to raise her child, and a million dollars is a nice way to retreat from Hollywood. But it's all just a little...tacky. Pimping out your kid before it's even born? Not that we can expect more from the Spears family. My brother and I were talking about it last night and he said, "Hell, I'd get pregnant for a million dollars!"

I must say, I never really liked Jaime Lynn that much. I'm still holding out hope for Britney's resurrection from the land of bad hair weaves. Jaime Lynn, despite the fact that she's 16 and clearly not that innocent after all, just always seems a little too squeaky clean for me. Even in her Crossroads days Britney always seemed like the good girl about to go bad. Much more appealing.

At least it's not KFed's. Now we'll all wait to see if Jaime Lynn's baby daddy is going to come out with an album. Popo Zao was one of the highlights of my year.

and the days go by

On the theme of "into the blue again"...the New York Times announces that "blue iris" is the color of the year.

“Blue Iris brings together the dependable aspects of blue, underscored by a strong, soul-searching purple cast. Emotionally, it is anchoring and meditative with a touch of magic.”

In other news today...why I want to be an event producer...

I was reading another NYT article about Disney's new broadway production of The Little Mermaid, a $15 million dollar extravaganza. This is big business, and oh how I long to be a part of it. Mentally erase this guy's face from this picture and insert me here. In a large broadway theater. Bossing people around. Saying things like, "I see metal on this stage...give me more metal. No, no...that simply will not do. It's so hard to get good help these days."

and you may ask yourself...

And I ask myself...

What do I want in 2008? To accomplish, to see, to experience ...

(Disclaimer: These are not resolutions. I do not believe in having a predetermined "resolve" starting January 1. These are visions and dreams for the year that lies ahead of me. I do believe in putting the things you want out in the universe, that in doing so, you sort of manifest your own destiny.)

This is the year I will be 29. I would like my life to take a different shape and tone as I move into being 30.

1. Do some "real" photography. And thusly, I would like to...
2. Purchase a nice camera. Start putting away my nickels and dimes. I have my eye on a Nikon D50.
3. Complete a full marathon. Really. And not just say I'm going to do it and then be lazy.
4. Take Danica's advice and do something new or something that scares me every month. (Danica went skydiving and did karaoke so far.)
5. Have a new job or go back to school.
6. Talk to people openly about my dreams for having an event planning/consulting business.
7. Go hiking 4 times.
8. Camp out.
9. Make slipcovers for my couches.
10. Replace/update the art in my living room.
11. Move into my very own apartment.
12. Direct a play.
13. Act in a play.
14. Start a collection.
15. Get more comfortable with being known.

And, since it's Advent/Christmas, I realize there were all sorts of things I would have liked to have done, but just didn't get around to. Next year I want to...

1. Make my Christmas cards earlier. Get them sent out earlier. Make cards from picture of Uncle Frank as Santa.
2. Do an ornament exchange.
3. Have a silver tinsel tree.
4. Make a creative advent calendar.
5. Start gift shopping earlier. Maybe do it throughout the year.

innocence and other things that escape me

"Same as it ever was, same as it ever was..."

I am so over dating, it is thoroughly and completely exhausting. I realize that unless I want to be confined to a life of dining on Chef Lonely Hearts Soup for One and my menagerie of cats, I have to suffer on. Knowing that the alternative is worse doesn't necessarily make it better.

After a very, very long string of poor matches, false starts, and general earth-shattering disappointments in dating, I just sort of came to a place where I decided I didn't care all that much any more. I'm not looking, because every where I look, I see douche bags. Fabulous gay men, happy, cohabitating lesbians, but heterosexual men who make me almost prefer to begin working on my cat collection.

So a few weeks ago, my roommate Laura, who is two steps from blissful cohabitation with her girlfriend, Kelly, dragged me to a barbeque against my will. "There will be cute boys there. I cannot bear to hear about how you never meet cute boys. You're going." And, she was right, I did, I did happen to meet this nice guy, and we have had two semi-dates and one actual date since that time.

"You seem so innocent," he says to me at dinner. What? Me? Really?? No. Have we met? Innocent? Really?

Wow, this makes me wonder how I am presenting myself. And then wonder more about how people start to perceive you as you get to know one another. "Innocent" is not a word I would ever use to describe myself, and I'm pretty sure no one else I really know would either. Jaded, maybe. Dark and twisty?

And then I realize that during our conversation, he had asked me what I had done that morning. "I went to church, had lunch with my mom, went to a Christmas party..." I'm pretty sure that the church part somehow gave way to the perception of innocence. I ask my friend Amanda why...and if she thinks I'm innocent?

"That's funny that he thinks your innocent," she said, "because my first very vivid memory of you was from your birthday party one year, when you had your 'friend' come pick you up and came back to the party the next morning. Fun times."

into the blue again

My inspiration for this blog...

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...

Water dissolving...and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? ...am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
My god!...what have I done?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.

Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...