Saturday, September 20, 2008

the parlor and happy hollow farm


Photo: The Happy Hollow Farm, Sweetwater, TN

The farm was just off the Oakland Road exit to Sweetwater on I-75. There really wasn't much off the exit, just farmland, the Dinner Bell Restaurant where no one ever orders anything but the buffet, and a fireworks store that someone tried to turn into an arcade for a while. The road wides around a bit past the exit, and there it was on the right with the little white sign that read, "Happy Hollow Farm." The farm seemed like its own tiny, perfect universe. The little barn, the silo, and the white farm house. The gently rolling field that was alive and rich green in the spring and summer, quiet brown straw in the winter. The way the foothills of the smokey mountains cradled all of it. I imagined life on the farm was full of simple beauty, and I peeked inside it every time I drove by. A few years ago, a "For Sale" sign was put up in front of the farm. Someone bulldozed it and turned it into an auto scrap yard.

Photo: The Parlor, Sweetwater, TN

The house in Sweetwater looked a gingerbread house, my mother said. It was a big, yellow Victorian built in the late 1800's with a wraparound porch, a porch swing, and a little balcony on the second floor. The house inspector warned my parents not to buy it, that there were too many things to fix, but my mother was in love with the house. I picked the bedroom right next to the little balcony where I could sit high above the street and watch everything. My parents planted crepe myrtles that grew into an archway over the walkway to the front porch. Just off the entryway with the antique crystal chandelier and screen door that always slammed shut was the parlor. It was a Norman Rockwell room, with an old gas fireplace with a big white mantle, pocket doors, and the window where the light streamed in so gently in the morning through the lace curtains. The gas fireplace never worked, of course. The pocket doors were off their tracks and never worked properly, and my father once had to hunt down a squirrel that moved into the wall behind them. But it was the room where you could curl up on the couch and read and forget the world. It was the Christmas room, the window seemed like it was put there for the sole purpose of framing a Christmas tree. It was always cold and drafty in the parlor, but we wrapped ourselved in blankets on Christmas morning and my brother and I fought over who had to sit on the cold floor and pass out presents.

I don't remember the last days in that house, with the boxes packed and the rooms empty. I had already moved away, but leaving that place was too hard, even though it was never close to how perfect it looked from the outside. My father and my brother lived in that house for almost two years after he was forced out of the church he pastored two blocks away. My mother moved to Atlanta to get a better job, my brother stayed to finish high school, and they waited there until the house sold. I imagine it must have been lonely in that big house. A retiree couple bought the house, and a few months later, they cut down the beautiful crepe myrtle archway, but left the stumps of the six trees all lined up on each side of the walkway, the front of the house bare.

I still go back sometimes, to visit friends from high school or to stop by on my way to see my brother at school. I take the Oakland road exit, and I drive by the yellow gingerbread house. I remember once that an old woman at church told me that someone birthed a stillborn child there many years ago. The house was its own story, the walls full of the laughter and tears of the people who have lived there. In some way, it will always be ours.

Friday, September 12, 2008

crocs = bad parenting

Apparently there is another reason other than the sheer fact that they are hideous that crocs should be banned. They are also bad for your health.

Crocs is being sued for $2 million over an accident where a child wearing the monstrous plastic ronald mcdonald duck feet was caught in the escalator at Atlanta Harstfield Jackson Airport. The child had several broken toes, the parents allege their son was "severely and permanently injured." I say sue the parents for severe and permanet psychological injury from making their child wear those shoes. Imagine the ridicule later in life. $2 million isn't enough. A broken toe will always heal.

Just say no to Crocs, people.

(On a side note, I have a totally abnormal fear of escalators. This story will probably only make that worse. )

Thursday, September 11, 2008

you get a car, you get a car, you get a car!


I'm not giving away any cars, but Amanda and I were talking today about Oprah, and how she has super human powers. We were discussing the fact that she finished the Marine Corps marathon in 4 hours 29 minutes, an hour faster than Katie Holmes and Mario Lopez finished their marathons. I'm not knocking Oprah, but this just seems kind of weird to me. Amanda responded by confiding in me that when she was a kid, she thought Oprah's name was Okra. "Hey mom, Okra's on." And I decided if I were having a Favorite Things show, okra would probably one of the things I would give away to my audience. Probably from Cracker Barrell. Who knows? You might even get a biscuit with it too.

Nikki's Favorite Things, In No Particular Order:
Okra - fried, not pickled
Pabst Blue Ribbon on draft
Christian Louboutin shoes (not that I've ever owned a pair, I've only tried them on, but they were heavenly, and I covet them deeply in my heart)
Really big, fluffy white cotton towels
Diet coke
Papermate Liquid Expresso Pens, extra fine point (I have to be that specific)
The chicken finger dinner from the Gondolier in Sweetwater, TN (once I accidentally drove 2 hours out of way way to have it, true story)
The first season of The Real World - New York (before they just picked pretty people)
The second season of The Real World - Los Angeles ("It wasn't not funny!")
The third season of The Real World - San Francisco (snot rockets) - and after that, the real world wasn't that real
The iPod touch (I do not own one, but my mom does, and it is fantastic)
Leggings (I know I'm too old for them, and I don't care)
Guacamole from Tesoro in Decatur
Vanilla mint listerine
The Chi hair iron (probably one of the most expensive things I own, next to my computer)
Stacey and Clinton - if I could give them to myself I would

If you were on my episode of Nikki's Favorite Things, you would probably be pretty disappointed, I'm sure. It's not much. But small things make me happy.